Saturday, March 24, 2012

Keeping the Fun in Dysfunction

Everyone has a dysfunctional family. Everyone.
How you deal with it determines whether your dysfunction turns into fun or funk.
Don't think you're gonna get the bottom line lesson on happy families in this blog post, but I will share a tip that has worked for us to keep us from living in a funk because of our dysfunctions.

Marry well.

"Well" in this case does not mean marry into money or marry someone who is climbing the ladder of social acceptance. What it means is to marry someone who says, "WELL...we will just have work this out together" or "'s just not that bad" or "WELL...I am going to crawl down into the pit with you and help you out."

That's what Buddy and I have learned to do. It's taken approximately 33 years but I think we are finally getting the hang of it. As I look back, i see evidence there were certain clues this was happening. Such as the time when he was faced with the decision of closing down his business in Fort Walton, leasing his store in Niceville, and moving his business into our back yard shop. And further back when we were wondering if staying married might be harder than staying together. And most recently, when my husband has crawled into the pit of aging parent problems with me and kept my head and heart afloat.

I'm a crier. Not in the town crier sense. But in the ugly-contorted faced-red-nosed kind of crier. I shed tears occasionally. This most recent chapter in my life has caused a few riverlets of salty fluid to run down my cheeks as I think of the kindness, support, prayer, strength, and love my husband has shown me. I have felt overwhelmed, frustrated, and exhausted, but never alone. That's how I know I will make it through.

I knew I married well when I put laughter and sadness on a balancing scale and saw that thru every single rough patch in my life, there was laughter infused into it.

I knew I married well when all 4 of my children were born and they were beautiful...all favoring their father.

I knew I married well when after 33 years of marriage, we go on a vacation and still have fun when it's just the two of us.

I knew I married well when more than anything I want to go through the living room into the kitchen and fix myself some hot coffee first thing in the morning, but can't because my husband is on his knees praying for our family in the living room, blocking my path.

We married very young. (VERY young) I don't condone 20 year old children getting married. I don't condone children getting married at all. The evidence is my oldest married at 29 and my next oldest, at 29 is still unmarried and I was/am more than fine with that. (Little Bud bucked the system at 24.) I can only say that because we serve a merciful God and Buddy and I are both stubborn that it is working.

And working well.


 Happy Anniversary to my Fun Husband.
 I love you.

1 comment:

  1. I just love this. You guys are the real deal. THANK YOU for being the real deal.
    Your children are beautiful.
    YOU are beautiful.