We Were Better Off When We Were Little Children

All my hopes and dreams scatter like ashes...
Up in flames, a quiet disaster...
One day something went wrong, everything changed,
Now we're patching these holes in our souls 
where a ball and chain...

We were better off when we were little children,
When our faith came as easy as freedom,
When we dreamed we could fly,
Hope was shining in our eyes,
We were better off when we were children.
~Elenowen, 2012 (click to listen)

These are the words to a song I heard today for the first time. 
Today is the day after I heard of the death of Drew MacLean, one of Buddy's closest friends at UF. 
Today is the day after the day that marks the end of life on earth for a young husband, father-to-be, brother, son, friend to all who knew him. 

This is not an obituary for the dead but simply written to formulate grief and sadness. I am sad for this family who was as close to each other as we are. I am sad for Marc, the brother who shared every friend with Drew, shared the same degree, a home, moments meant only for best friends. I am sad for my son, Buddy who has never grieved like this before. I am sad for my son, Jake, who has compared this event to what it must be like to lose his own brother. I am sad for Mr. and Mrs. MacLean and for Drew's young wife, Allison. I am sad for their unborn daughter who will never be held by this bear of a man who never had an enemy.

 
When we were children, most of us had bad dreams, bad thoughts, moments of fear and sadness...but they were only moments. We bounced back with zeal and a mere memory of loss or trouble. God made children with an amazing talent for pushing forward and tendency toward resilience. Children are optimistic. They dream of flying kites and being superheroes. Adults lose their dreams. They learn the truth about superheroes. Yes, we were better off when we were children.

But we can't stay children. We would never learn enough, or love enough. 

^"When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things. For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known. ~ I Corinthians 13:11-12

I am so looking forward to seeing you face to face, Lord. Until then, please continue to help us learn and love...and continue to be God.

Serious golfers

Drew, celebrating the best day of Bud's life with us.